My worst nightmare as an erotica writer has come true!
Recently I have been getting some people messaging me on social media not understanding that I write about sex, including threesomes, foursomes, bisexual experiences, cuckolding, and so on BUT I do NOT participate in these activities! Well, I say some people mostly men sending me often rude and disrespectful messages and a few unwanted pictures.
There was even an instance of my partner getting abuse by a woman during a discussion because I write erotica! When he called her on what she meant by what she was implying as it was nothing to do with what they were talking about she quoted one of my stories! The good point about this is that the part of the story she was referencing was about halfway through the tale so she must have paid for it or read it on KU.
The Difference Between Fantasy And Reality!
This was my worry when I started writing erotica that people might think I am speaking from experience rather than just making stories. This is the main reason I use a separate pen name for my naughty stories.
I don't know why some think that an erotica writer is any different from any other type of writer. I am positive that Thomas Harris didn't eat people before making his character Hannibal Lecter and I am very sure that there isn't a school of witchcraft and wizardry in the UK for Rowling to attend! However, the erotica writer must have experienced first hand a gangbang because
"How could they write about something that they've never done?"
The news is that's what writers do! We write about things that we don't know about or haven't experienced if we only wrote "What You Know" Then the book would be extremely boring no matter what genre that book was in.
'My Life As An Asian Housewife'
OK, fine! That sounds like an erotica title! But the reality is not as much fun as the fantasy! Of course, I have sex! I am married and I have kids if you follow me on Twitter you will probably know this.
So if you aren't really doing it how do you write about it?
So as a writer of erotica how do I come up with the scenes that I come up with? I have already mentioned that I have sex. Is it so hard to imagine having sex with more than one person? Oral? Done that! Intercourse! Done that!
No, I am not boasting that I've had sex.
I am writing a scene with two guys and a girl. Is it such a leap of the imagination to write about vaginal sex and oral sex at the same time? After all, I have done both. Having two men with one woman isn't such really a challenge nor is a lesbian scene as again I've recieved oral sex, is it so hard to picture a woman doing it to me rather than a man? Or vice versa if you are a man and reading this. You know what it feels like, what it looks like.
Even if there are things you haven't experienced I am sure you can imagine what they would be like. That is what writing is about imagination.
Can you think of what people would say in certain scenarios? How maybe one of the guys might be a bit embarrassed because he's not as big as the other one? Or how the girl might have a hangup about her small breasts or the fact that she has a few pounds leftover from last year's Christmas festivities.
We can all imagine how we'd feel during the scene, we can also imagine how other people might feel or in what way the act you're writing about might be a turn on for someone. How I write in general is if I think it's hot then the scene, act, dialog etc stays in. If it doesn't do it for me then I think is it sexy for someone that is into that? Again using the two guys one girl, would it be sexy for double penetration? Is it expected? How about if the guys get it on, too? Because if it were two girls and one guy that would be implied.
Who am I writing for?
This is the main way that I decide exactly what I am going to write!
What niche am I writing in? These things are to be considered. Again this is all my imagination and fitting the story into a profitable niche.
Conclusion!
What to do about the problem of people thinking your writing is some kind of sex fueled autobiography?
I am doing nothing about it. I read what people have said and people's attitudes even other authors are judgemental about erotica but in the end I love writing my smutty little stories so I will carry on writing them.
Sonia Shade
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